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Val Everett | b. 2/28/80 | 6'3 | INFP

Val is a left-handed right-brained keyboard player, and a big loser. He is currently unemployed (he is usually unemployed), but when he does have money, he spends most of it on tokens for the DDR machine at Dave and Buster's (reminder: he is 26 years old). He can be pretty soft-spoken and timid, which makes it all the more jarring when he decides to disappear into the woods for a couple days with no camping gear or food without telling anyone, for example. He's been "writing a book" for about ten years.
                
Inspired in part by: Schroeder (Peanuts), Hurley Reyes (Lost), Cameron Frye (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

Bridget Everett | b. 2/28/80 | 5'6 | INTJ

Bede is an architect. Most of her coworkers think of her as an opportunistic bitch with enough skill in brute force manipulation to make up for her lack of tact. She'd be the first to tell you she learned it all from her dad. Still holding on to the high school mean girl persona a little too hard. If you dug deeper you'd find an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist with very strange ideas about her work (you don't want to dig deeper).
                
Inspired in part by: Dee Reynolds (IASIP), Shiv Roy (Succession), Lindsay Bluth-Funke (Arrested Development), Vriska Serket (Sorry)

Shoshana Abramsky | b. 8/23/82 | 4'9 | ESFP

Shoni once played Katherina Minola in Shakespeare in the Park, and she was extremely good. You will never find someone better versed in Godzilla lore, nor someone more willing to tell you all about it. She's exactly the kind of person you'd want to go to karaoke with, but she can be less than sympathetic if you get squicked out by her medical stories.
                
Inspired in part by: Elaine Benes (Seinfeld), Aradia Megido (Less sorry about this one).

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